What Could Be Better After a Long Day in Jungle Warfare School? Uno cerveza por favor

Okay, so almost any day in the military presents you with hardships that make almost any beer taste good (look at post featuring Generic Beer).  That said, a long day in a place featuring an obstacle course called “Green Hell”, palm trees with 4 inch needle thorns and snakes that leave you dead after two steps, makes tipping back a cold one that much more pleasant and life affirming. 

 I had the joy of going to the Army’s JOTC (Jungle Operations Training Center) at Fort Sherman Panama twice (87 and 92) and I came to know this beer fairly well.  When you first arrive, it looks like a resort.  The barracks actually look like they could be part of a nice resort (until you step inside), it’s situated on the bay where ships enter the canal and the streets are lined with palm trees (not the killer spike kind).  Hell breaks loose the next day when you are awoken at 4:30 to go do PT (physical training) and the temperature is the exact same as when you arrived at 3 in the afternoon (maybe a bit more humidity). 

 They actually had a zoo there—not that they called it a zoo.  It was the Environmental Training Center.  This way you can find out about all the cool things out in the jungle that can kill you.  Things like the Bushmaster (they call it the bushmaster two-step after you get bitten because you take that many steps before keeling over), Fer d’Lance (so aggressive that sometimes it forgets to inject venom) and Black Palm which has long razor sharp and hardened thorns.  Sometimes whole branches of black palm fronds will fall from trees and now and then impale some poor fool underneath. 

You also get a briefing on the Mohenga Swamp.  I remember a Sergeant First Class from Puerto Rico telling us “Every swamp in the world glows green because of the bacteria.  Every swamp in the world except one and it glows orange.  That is the Mohenga Swamp.  Do not go into the Mohenga Swamp.  Old animals go there to die.  If you get lost in the Mohenga swamp, you had better help you can find your way out because no one will come and find you.”  

 Cool - killer swamp, killer snakes, killer trees.  Hmmm, anyone thinking what I’m thinking?  That’s right. Beer time. 

 As much as I like a good stout or amber, in really hot climes, a cold lager like Red Stripe seems to really go with the setting.  Panama is no different. In Panama, it’s Panama Cerveza.  Best is to have one or six with some great shrimp or lobster there fresh from the ocean.  Of course that’s off base.  If you get a chance, head to Isla Grande or Portobella on the Carribiean side.  Portobella has a cool church with a black Jesus to which many people make pilgrimages (I believe they come crawling all the way on their knees, but I heard that afer a few beers).  Isla Grande is this cool island right off the coast where you can practically wade a mile across the ocean which is only 2.5 feet deep.  Beautiful place, much nicer than green hell.

On one of our days off we hit these two locales, had some great lobster, shrimp and Panama beers.  It’s a lot like Red Stripe or Jewel Brew (see Witch Doctor tale) and it really fits with the environment.  So drink up.  You never know when you’ll be doing the Bushmaster two step.